Tantrums in children are a dreaded but inevitable stage in the parenting journey. These moments, when the child seems overwhelmed by his emotions, can be particularly stressful for parents, especially when they occur in public. However, it is essential to understand that these tantrums, as difficult as they may be, are a normal part of a child's development. In France, as elsewhere, parents must learn to manage these situations with patience and empathy, in order to transform these moments of tension into learning opportunities for the child.
What is a child's tantrum?
Tantrums in children can manifest themselves in many different ways: crying, tantrums, kicking, or even total refusal to cooperate. This behavior usually occurs when a child is faced with a situation that he or she does not understand or cannot control. Tantrums often begin around 18 months, but can appear earlier or later depending on the child. Many parents feel helpless when faced with these intense moments, but it is important to understand that tantrums are a normal and healthy stage of a child's emotional development.
Why are tantrums normal?
Tantrums in children are a form of emotional expression. For a young child, the world is often confusing and frustrating. When faced with a situation that they do not understand or cannot control, the only way to release their frustration may be through an emotional outburst. Tantrums are seen as an essential stage in a child's development, a way for them to learn to manage their emotions and social interactions.
Children at this age have a limited vocabulary and are not always able to verbalize their feelings or needs. Therefore, the child's tantrum becomes a way for him to communicate his frustration or discomfort. It is important to note that these tantrums tend to decrease as the child develops his language and acquires better control of his emotions.
How to manage a child's tantrum?
Stay calm and breathe deeply
When faced with a child's tantrum, the first thing to do is to stay calm and take a deep breath. It is crucial not to panic, even if the situation is stressful, especially in public. The looks of others can be embarrassing, but remember that most people understand what you are going through. Staying calm not only helps defuse the situation, but it also shows your child that you are there for them, ready to help them through this emotional storm.
Identify possible triggers
To effectively manage a child's tantrum, it is important to understand what triggers it. Is the child tired, hungry, frustrated with an activity? By identifying potential causes, you can often prevent a tantrum before it escalates. For example, in France, many parents learn to anticipate their child's needs by ensuring that they are well rested, well fed, and occupied with adapted activities at his age.
Use distraction
Another effective strategy for managing a child's tantrum is distraction. When you sense a tantrum is about to break out, try to divert your child's attention to something positive. Use a cheerful tone, sing a song, offer a toy, or change locations to calm the situation. By diverting your child's attention, you can often prevent the tantrum from reaching its peak.
What to do when the crisis breaks out?
When a child's tantrum breaks out despite all your precautions, it's important to know how and how to react. Every child is different, and what works for one may not work for another. Some children can be soothed by gentle, reassuring words, while others will need to be left alone to process their emotions. Some parents opt to temporarily ignore the tantrum, continuing with their activities as if nothing is happening, while others prefer to offer a hug or reassuring physical contact.
It is also crucial not to give in to your child's demands when he or she is having a tantrum. Giving in to the temptation to say yes to end the tantrum can teach your child that this behavior is an effective way to get what they want, which may reinforce these behaviors in the future.
Praise good behavior
To prevent future tantrums, it is essential to reinforce positive behaviors. Every time your child behaves well, be sure to praise him. In France, this approach is often recommended to encourage children to adopt positive behavior and feel valued. Providing your child with choices, such as allowing him to decide between two options, can also help him feel in control and reduce the frustrations that often lead to child tantrums.
Establish a stable routine
A stable routine is another powerful tool for preventing child tantrums. Knowing what to expect each day can help children feel more secure and less likely to feel overwhelmed. In France, parents are encouraged to maintain a regular routine, including mealtimes, playtime, and regular bedtimes. This predictability helps children understand expectations and feel more in control of their environment, reducing the opportunity for tantrums.
Limit choices to avoid frustration
Giving a child too many choices can sometimes lead to a child having a tantrum. For a young child, too many options can be overwhelming and lead to increasing frustration. In France, it is often advised to limit the choice to two or three simple options. For example, instead of asking “What do you want for a snack?”, offer two options: “Do you want an apple or a banana?” This allows the child to feel involved in the decision without being overwhelmed.
When to worry about tantrums?
While tantrums in children are a normal part of their development, it is important to be aware of certain signs that could indicate a deeper problem. If you or your child feel out of control, if the child is hurting themselves or others, or if you feel that the tantrums are related to your relationship, it may be helpful to consult a healthcare professional, such as a pediatrician or a child psychologist in France. These professionals can help you understand your child's behaviors and develop strategies to manage them.
Cultural differences and crisis management in France
In France, the educational approach tends to emphasize discipline and respect for rules, but also the encouragement of autonomy and the expression of emotions. French parents are often encouraged to find a balance between firmness and kindness. Managing a child's tantrum therefore involves clearly supervising behaviors while respecting the child's emotional needs.
Preventing crises: French tips
- Routine and stability: French children are often accustomed to a well-established routine, which can reduce stress and uncertainty, two triggers of tantrums in children.
- Balanced diet: In France, a balanced diet is highly valued. Regular, nutritious meals can prevent hunger pangs.
- Outdoor activities: Children need physical activity. A good dose of outdoor exercise, whether it's walks in the park or playing games, can help channel their energy and prevent frustration.
“People also ask” (Frequently asked questions by Internet users)
1. How to react to a tantrum in public?
When your child's tantrum occurs in public, stay calm and get out of sight if possible. Find a quieter place to help your child calm down without feeling judged.
2. Is it normal for my child to have frequent tantrums?
Yes, tantrums in children are common in young children, especially between the ages of 1 and 3. If they become too intense or frequent, it may be helpful to consult a specialist.
3. How to prevent tantrums before they start?
Anticipating your child's needs (hunger, tiredness, boredom) and maintaining a stable routine are effective ways to prevent child tantrums.
4. Should you always ignore tantrums?
Not essential. Some children may benefit from temporarily ignoring the child's tantrum, but others may need reassurance or explanations to calm down.
Conclusion
Tantrums in children are a challenge that every parent must face. By understanding the underlying causes and adopting appropriate strategies, it is possible to transform these difficult moments into learning opportunities. Tantrums are not only moments of frustration, they are also opportunities for children to learn how to express their emotions and navigate a sometimes confusing world. In France, parents can rely on proven methods, a stable routine and a caring environment to help their children get through this stage in a healthy and constructive way.
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